Husband forgets to reset the alarm clock. So rushing late, I have to get two kids out the door, one to Kindergarden, the other to Preschool Playgroup in the space of twenty minutes. I find the dryer was turned to “no heat” and I have to roll their socks onto the hair dryer to dry them.

You discover too late that you forgot to close the van windows the night before a giant rainstorm.

Your kid falls into a rain swollen ditch beside the driveway trying to pick a flower for you before school. So for a dandelion, my 3yo goes headlong into what to her, is a waist-deep mud puddle.

You come home to find the during the drive, the baby’s butt exploded in her carseat. There’s poo on the back of her head.

Come home. Relax. Suddenly I’m struck with a stomach virus. Grrr.

T’s cousin C sets the garlic bread on fire in the microwave. I trust T with the microwave. She’s very careful, and I’m always supervising. I helped her get it in there and set up, and run like mad for the bathroom as I’m struck by the virus again. C presses the +30 second button a couple of times. Plumes of smoke. Yuck.

Husband is finally home, and El FLINGS open the door to welcome him. And lets in a bird.

The bird is INSANE and it takes B and I 45 minutes to get it out.

I had shoved the kids in their room while we handled the bird issue. The kids let Ev play with Playdoh.

Birdie gone, pizza eaten, El completes the evening by SHOCKING HERSELF messing with an electric outlet. GRRR! She hid. She pried off the protector. She tried plugging something in and zap. Nothing injured, thank God. I’m going to replace the plug in protectors with the slide versions A.S.A.P.

Shouldn’t all of that herald the Apocalypse?

link | posted by Ani at 9:59 PM

1 Comments:

 HeyItsBeej commented:

Um, is it wrong that I had to go change my pants after reading this?

Dude, you've gotta put all this stuff into a book and pubish it. Seriously.

» 7:47 AM 

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